It was very nice at school back then; everybody minded their own business. I used to argue with fellows. Looking back, I know deep in my heart that all those arguments were not serious: as if siblings were teasing and making fun of each other. I was teaching Monsieur Brahim the correct pronunciation of Ukrainian words; we laughed a lot as I didn’t have a clue how to pronounce them correctly. There were absolutely no signs of tragedy in our minds. I remember every single detail of that day. The next thing I remember is the Ukrainian history lesson … talking about the past and things that our country has been through over the decades and Ukrainian literature class. Now every quote is so important to us because deep in my heart, there is a beat of our Motherland.
He was reciting the poem at that class, and I was filming it. So now he reminds me how ironical it was and how lighthearted we were back then, but now… How unpredictable this damn world is!
To my surprise, I finally had tea with him during the break. He arranged everything himself and invited me to join. He even demonstratively moved away from his girlfriend. I was confused … Just casually sitting there, sipping drinks, talking about everything we had on our minds … no taboos. But those gatherings, for me, were something that cannot be described in words.
The last biology class: I already sat next to him without even doubting my decision; no fear. The sweetest memories ever. Each of us studied something different: he was into physics, whereas I read literature. We were studying and joking from time to time. I remember laughing and blushing. Once, he accompanied me to my next class, muttered something silently like “See you later,” and dashed away. I couldn’t even hear his words and answered intuitively, “See ya,” and left. We had never been good at friendships before. It was always light flirting and tension between the two of us. If in those days you had told me it was our last time chatting face to face, I wouldn’t have believed you.
My lyceum taught me not only essential subject knowledge but also was a school of life. That Thursday evening, my mom and I went for a walk, thinking of visiting a shooting club just for fun. Peace is essential in our lives, but a girl should know how to protect herself and confidently hold a weapon.
And then it was all over. My whole world went upside down as, at 5:27 a.m., the war broke out. I still don’t know if I’ll ever be able to talk to him again during breaks. Will I come to my school? Will I ever meet anyone of them?
Since then, I can’t stop dreaming about peace and victory. Yet, in my mind, I still cherish the day that became the last one in the “before” era.
Yelyzaveta Pukas
03/13/2022
Translated by Viсtoria Prutkova
Illustrator Yelizaveta Nikishyna